Yes!
After doing some research, I've finally remembered the name of the show I used to watch, around early this year.
Ex-list! Yay!
So far, I've remembered two things-the malay poetry and this. I just need to remember what's that freaking word.
Oh by the way, I've finished watching Jumanji. Like, FINALLY. Haha. I never had the chance to finish watching it.
Oh and....
Mum bought me a new dress. And, it's BLACK. Again.-.-

Okay. Peace!
☮♥☮♥☮♥☮♥

One Last Chance

I am...................

Sad. Angry. Rude. Hot-tempered. Stupid.
Dumb. Pessimistic. Egoistic. Hopeless. Tired.
Useless. Insensitive. Stubborn. Spoil-brat.

These are some words to describe my emotion and anything related to myself right now.
Problems after problems arised in my life. I felt bad. AND horrible. Why am I always causing troublems? 2010 is so not my year, buddy. So many BAD things going on in my life. Just look at me! I'm in a total mess! I treat people badly. And.... I'm sick and tired of being that mean girl.

And you know what?
Maybe.................
Just maybe......................
I am..............SORRY?
Sorry for all that ill-treatments I gave to those poor teachers and few other nameless and innocent souls. I really want to start again.
Question is..... Will they give me that chance?


Peace☮♥

Puzzled.

It's nearing 2a.m in the morning, and I'm still wide awake. There's something bugging me. And, no. Not really because of that late night movies, which I created every midnight and pretty addicted by it-okay. It does play a part but it does NOT play a MAJOR role in this situation.

So here's the deal..... I'm becoming forgetful. Not that it matters, actually. Wait. I take back those words, 'cause it does. I hate being forgetful. It makes me feel..... unease. It makes me try so hard to remember what I forget. It's like...... 'I remembered that I forget about this particular thing, I just don't remember what it is.' that kind of thing, you know? Erm.... Are you following? I know, that sentence is grammatically unsound, but trust me, it ain't easy explaining at all. But.... That's exactly how I feel. Urgh. This is stupid.

I forget some stuff I used to say.... Like favourite words. Something I should remember. Hey. Wait. I remembered one stuff. A two words malay poetry which I created, out of anger. It's kinda 'chim'. But. I don't know how to finish it. "Ketidakadilan membelenggu....." So. Yay. Writing does help a lot. So. I remembered one thing. Okay. I need to remember few other things. You see. I know I forget about something, I just don't remember what's that thing call or whatever(similar grammatically unsound sentence). It's like..... A missing piece of jig-saw puzzle. I've already figured out most of the pieces, but then again. What's the use of all that when I still couldn't find that one missing piece. The picture makes no sense at all. It's like painting Monalisa but with no face. Okay. That sentence is way off.

Anyways..... There's this word.... Not my favourite word. But, it's just frustrating to actually forget something. I know the definition of that particular word but I forget what's that word. I used it a lot when I was in a relationship. Not literally the word. It's like..... You're having a bad day then you just dump it at someone innocent. What's that word? "I'm sorry... I (insert blank) my anger at you. Ahh. Crap. This will take forever.

You know what.
I'll get back to you tomorrow. Or rather...One day. When I've finally figured out what's that word and a few other things that I forget.

Okay. Peace. ☮

Start of the week

Tomorrow's gonna feel like Monday. How ironic when my first day of school is also my last day of school. And, I hate this 'first day of school' feeling. I can't possibly get rid of this feeling, can I? Ahhh! Damn! I hate this freaking feeling!
Hopefully, my form teacher won't be naggy about me not coming for school this past few days. And, hopefully I won't be all left out about some stuff, like.... I don't know. New gossips or whatever. Though, I do know about some stuff that is quite sensitive. Which, I won't write about it here 'cause like I said just now, that stuff is kinda SENSITIVE. As a matter of fact..... It's kinda disheartening how that kind of stuff can actually happened especially to someone whom I actually care. Hopefully, that someone is okay. As much as I'd like to believe that, I know that someone is in need of a crying shoulder. And, I'll be there tomorrow, okay buddy. Just..... Hang in there.

Alright.
Peace and love. ☮♥

Summer

Hey.
Jyeah.... I guess I was too caught up with my own things, eh? I hadn't been coming school lately.
I am still REQUIRED to go to school though. Pretty much, I spent my time well by watching videos and sleep and eat and the list goes on. I mean, come on. What's the point of going to school when you've already gotten all your results right? And trust me, the last thing you wanna go will be Post-exam activities. Anyways, pretty much it feels like school holidays. Of cause, the last day of school will be this coming Thursday but who cares? I'll only be coming to school on the last day of school. That's the ONLY day you should be coming because that's when you get your report book and hugs from everyone.

Aaaaah. It feels like summer. And, I'm gonna job hunt tomorrow:D
Okay folks.
See you on Monday.
Peace☮

Craig David

Yay me.
I couldn't sleep! Having sleeping difficulties is fun, huh? Righttttt! But, I'm not tired. Reasons why people sleep is either because they are tired or because they wanna go dreamland- yes. That place. Where all those unfulfilled dreams became a reality.
So..... After doing some research about insomnia(you guys would most probably remember this as Craig David's song, insomnia. You know, that gay song? U'uh. That one:)) I know exactly why I have insomnia. No. Not because of stress or depression. Nor is it because of the changes in sleep environment. It is actually......Because I am NOT tired and I'm already in my own dreamland, watching episodes after episodes of Wizards of Waverly Place.

Anyways..... Here's something to REFRESH your memories of how GAY this INSOMNIA song is.
Don't get me wrong though, I love CRAIG DAVID. But, come'on....Insomnia is so gay dude.

So, here's the chorus by the way.
Insomnia by Craig David

"Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more

Oh i stay up til you're next to me

Til this house feels like it did before

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah "

Ahh ahh ahh~ Ahhh ahh ahh~-HAHAHHAHA. damn. That part always cracks me up. hahah.

Okay till then.
 PEACE.☮

                  "I wanna be a wizard"

GREATNESS

I'm feeling lost. Yeah. Lost. Lost with no sense of direction. Each and everyone of us, have our own ultimate goal. And mine is to pass my GCEO level examination with a good aggregate that could qualify me for one of the 5 polytechnics in Singapore. But....... I don't know. Yea. Being able to qualify for polytechnic has been my dream eversince I was in secondary one. Thing is, I'm not sure where to go NEXT(if let's say I do qualify for polytechnic). I've looked through the courses in ALL the polytechnic. Mainly, there's Engineering school, Business school, Chemical and Life sciences school and etc. And, nothing appeals to me! How could you do something that you're not interested in?! Especially, for job-wise. I'll definitely suffer right? I really want to pursue something that I'm interested in. I'm sure all you heard of this- it doesn't feel like work when you enjoys what you do. Of cause, I wish that could happen to me.

Aaaaah. Even though, secondary school life might sucks, but I'm glad I'm still a secondary school kid. The pressure's level is 5 times lesser than Polytechnic's life. No. I'm not going to change my plan. I'll still stick with it. And then afterwards............. I will just let nature take its course.




"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them."
-William Shakespeare

PEACE! ☮

I know, I know.

So.....
Not going to school today, wasn't really a bad idea.
Why? Results' day today.
Yes. I screw up a lot! I'm seriously crossing my fingers right now, hoping I could at least pass my English!
English is damn IMPORTANT man!
Of cause.. I also hope I pass my emath paper. Since I screw up my paper 2. D':

Aaaaaaah.
So far, I've already know two results. MALAY and SOCIAL STUDIES.
My friend texted me telling me my marks for SS. Thank god. I get 43/50:DD And my friend told me I was the highest in class.
Now, for the second language paper.......
I'm super duper disappointed. For the friggin first time, I get a C effing 5 for my second language paper! I felt insulted. I felt ASHAMED. Thank god I didn't turn up for school today. If not...... I'd definitely be a laughing stock.

Aaaaaaaah.
Let's just PRAY tomorrow will be a better day for me, okay:DD

PEACE yo.☮

Not again

Ahh. Yes.
I'm not going to school tomorrow.
Honestly, I've lost count. Lost count of the number of days I fail to attend for school. Let's not talk about DAYS, let's just take WEDNESDAYS for instance. Hahah. There're way too many WednesdayS I've skipped/ fail to attend this year. But, I've my reason. Tomorrow? I'm just lazy. And can't be bothered to know. To know my results. Why bother? When you've already know? When you've already know the outcomes or for this case, the results?
Nah...... Frankly speaking, I'm actually SCARED to know the result...... Part of me, was praying endlessly to get at least a PASS for most of my subjects..... Part of me...... Already knew what I'd get for most of the subjects; I surrendered myself to the bitterness of failure. You know what? If worst comes to worst...... I'd still accept it with a open heart. But, desperate time calls for desperate measures. I need to do something! Aaaaaaaaaaah. I'm SCARED. I'm TERRIFIED. I'm.......... HORRIFIED!

Alright.
Till then, I guess?
Peace☮

Sammy

My..........
I think............
I'm in love..........................!
With?
Samuel Rizal!!!!!!!!

Goddddddddd.
Can you be nice to me this time round? Please for the love of god, let the two of us be together, despite the age gaps. AAAAAAAAAAAH. I'm so in love with him!
I swear........ I will marry a guy who looks EXACTLY like him. With the exception of my ex, S, of cause. Aaaaah. I'm going nuts right now..!
Hopefully, I can meet him in person one day.

Okay.
Peace!☮

Job Hunting

Today's finally the ending of my nightmare episodes. EXAM ARE FINALLY OVER! It was Art paper just now. My painting still sucks but.... I've improved A LOT okay! I seriously hope Mr J will be lenient and give me at least grade C.:))
Anyway..... I went for a job hunting just now. My first stop was North Point. One word-Disappointed. The moment I stepped into the _____ shop the sale girl greeted me, thinking I was going to buy some stuff there. So, I made my way towards her and politely asked her, ''Excuse me, erm.... May I know if there's any vacancy here?'' And she quickly said NO. Her manager was there and asked me, ''sorry? what did you say again?'' And I told him I'd like to work there. He told me they needed man power during late November and December and asked me to come again. I said, ''okay.'' and went off.  The sale girl was sucha *****. I don't know. Somehow or another, I think she's afraid of competition. Anyway...... I'm so not going to work there.

So..... My second job hunting was...... Cwp. Hahaha. I should've just go there in the first place. So, I went to the same shop, ____ and went straight to the counter. The manager asked me a lot of questions and afterwards asked me to write down my particulars on a piece of paper. And told me he'll contact me.  I seriously hope HE WILL. 'cause I really like the environment there! If not..... then, I guess I have to look elsewhere. I don't know why, of all shops, I chose this particular shop, ___ . No. I don't like that shop. I don't shop for stuff there but for job-wise, it's actually pretty cool.

Oh and.... I also have my eyes on Cotton On. Thing is.... I feel inferior to work there. Why? I'm just a kid, yo! Most of them who works there are Poly/ITE students. So..... Nehh.

Okay,
Peace YO!☮
:DD

From Sengau to Simpson and Stretch Mark

I hate making conversation with people right now. Why? Because of my voice. Even my friends started making fun of my new voice.-Sengau. And... It's really hard to make a conversation with anyone without being mock at. But oh well. That's life. Now.... My voice changes to Mrs Simpsons' voice. You know the one with.... I really don't know how to describe her voice. Watch Simpsons and just listen to his wife's voice and you will have a rough idea how my voice sounds like.

Oh and....
I discovered something else too!
Stretch mark!
If you people think only PREGNANT women get stretch marks then you're dead wrong. I'm not pregnant. But I have stretch marks.
Where? My arm.
Why? Because of FATS. I don't know. Generally, only fat people have stretch marks. Apparently, I am one now. Lucky for me, it's not that visible and there's only a few of it. But still........ AAAAAAAAAAAH!

I AM FAT.... :'(
☮

F(square) Fever and Flu

Hi.
I'm feeling rather feverish right now. I can't believe I'm actually feeling sick as my immune system is quite good. But, eversince the start of examination, I've been showing symptoms of sickness like sneezing. I think it's because of the exam papers. I'll start sneezing the moment I started flipping the paper.
But today..... Was different than usual. I have runny nose. Guess what? It was Emath paper 2. And yes.... I sneezed at any random point of that 2hour period. And started sniffing due to that annoying mucus.  As a result, I felt totally horrible. Oh and, did I mention that my voice sounds different. More husky. I think it's because of what I ate yesterday. My mum cooked this....I have no idea what it was. So.... I ate two. I tried the first one and it was horrible. I couldn't finish it. You know why? It was DAMN freaking oily. It was so damn oily, that I could even feel it in my throat. I tried the second one, as I thought it would taste slightly better. But to my deepest disappointment, it was even worse than the first. I threw it away the moment I had my first bite.
Aaaaaaaaaah. I felt like shit.
By the way.....
I screw up most of my papers. Such as..... Geography, Malay, English Paper 1, Physic(BIG TIME) and Math paper 2. Man.... The thoughts of me failing my overall are kinda disheartening. And I only have myself to be blame 'cause I didn't study that much. And right now, I kinda regret it-regret for not putting the exact amount of efforts I should've put in my studies. But oh well. Bygones bygones. I'll take this as a lesson learnt. I hope, you too, will take this as a lesson learnt. Sometimes.... Last minute preparation(for education-wise) will lead to your biggest downfall. You might be lucky once, but you'll never know when it will start to affect you. I was lucky once, during CA2. I did very well for most of the papers. But right now..... It has started to affect me; I need to do a lot of catching up and I realised that one day is not enough to sum up what I've learnt for the past 9 months.

Okay then.
Goodnight!
Love you.

PS; I didn't go out on 10.10.10. Most of you will know this. 10 is my FAVOURITE number. I've been waiting for this date to come eversince I was in seconday one. But, like the malay proverb saying, "Manusia merancang tetapi Tuhan yang menentukan."

Okay.
PEACE!☮

DAMN IT

I need to spill it out. I'm addicted to GG!
Wait.... I've always been. I read the book back when I was in Secondary 1. I've watch couple of the episodes and concluded that the drama sucks and that the book ROCKS.
I take back my words; the drama rocks just as much as the book. I watched episodes after episodes in just one solid day! And.... This definitely affects me. I even neglected Daily Booth. Not only that, it also makes me lose my focus and I couldn't revise my work!
If GG is a drug...... I think I might die due to overdose.
I watch too much of it.
The remedy for this addiction?
Simple. In order to stop this addiction, I gotta finish ALL the episodes. Yes..... All the way till season 4.
Thing is, NOTHING in this world is as SIMPLE as it seems.
One episode is about 42 minutes. In one season, there are about 25 episodes. So..... 25(4)=100 Afterwards..... Take 100(42)=4200. Convert this to time.
See. I have exams to think of. I couldn't possibly be wasting my time on this, or could I?
Aaaaaaaaah.
Help???? Anyone?
Obviously nobody will.
Why? I set this blog as private remember?
Aaaaah.
Peace.☮
DDD':

empty

Right now.....
It feels so weird. This feeling..... Is so......Alien to me.....
Fragmented thoughts raced through my mind as I recollected what I've done in the past. It pains me to realise all the bad things I had done. I exhaled a deep sigh couple of times and question myself, ''What is happening to me?'' I don't know..... I ponder for awhile..... And finally. I know what's wrong. Emptiness. Yes. I feel empty right now.
Maybe..... It's depression..... GOD..... I need you with me at this point of time....
To tell you the truth, I'm giving up-resigning myself to the bitterness of unfulfilled dream. I tried to focus and revise my work.... But.... Nothing goes inside this empty head.
Screw life............

☮

She's gone when I need her the most.....

Hey.
I felt miserable right now......
I'm losing another friend. A best friend. We used to be so close. We used to hold hands when we were like in 4th grade.
But now......
It will just be a sweet memories that will permanently etched in my mind.
Aaaaah.....
She has left for Canada just now. At 8am. It's been like years since the last time I saw her. Oh my.....I missed her so badly right now....
Aaaah. She's gone.... When I need her the most.....DD:

Peace.........☮☮☮☮☮

Hello:DD
Good night!☮

Yes? Why?

Yes.....I wanna change.
Why? 'cause I wanna be a better person in future. And I want to be able to guide my future children, not just academic wise, but also in religious issue.
I'm so sinful to GOD. I used to be a self proclaimed 'free thinker'. I don't really believe in the existence of God and everything back then. Moreover, I was also ASHAMED of my religion-Islam. AND, I'm TRULY sorry for all that. Now, I seriously wanna turn over a new leaf even if it meant going back to square one. Frankly, I wasn't built up well as a Muslim. Of cause, I used to attend the religious class and etc but that was like, what? 7? 8? 9? 10 years old? I don't know. And.......I'm truly ashamed of myself..... Why? I think I'm the only kid-my age- who still haven't 'qatam' the al-quran. Not only that, I don't really know that much about Islam.
So erm............
I wanna share with yall this video.....
This song is a legend. When I was younger, I used to memorise this song and sang it all day long.:DD



OKAY,
PEACE.☮

Hehehe. I have a new cup for my guilty pleasure-coffee.
The cup's pretty cheap actually so no biggy. Hahah. IT'S SUPER CHEAP.
☮